The Student News Site of University of Central Missouri

Muleskinner

The Student News Site of University of Central Missouri

Muleskinner

The Student News Site of University of Central Missouri

Muleskinner

    Get yourself un-sick quick

    Story by Kristin Gallagher, Business Manager—
    KristinIt seems as though flu season is in full effect, and there is no stopping it.
    All across campus, one can hear coughing, sneezing, sniffling, and all the gripes and groans that come along with being ill.
    If you have been lucky enough to avoid the flu this season, there are steps you can take to ensure your good health, as many of you already know.
    Therefore, I feel it necessary to offer a bit of help to those that are already ill.
    First, I suggest you quarantine yourself. For the common good of others, remain in your room until you no longer feel like you are a threat to society.
    You will be lonely while quarantined, so prepare yourself with a lot of non-physical activities to entertain yourself.
    My personal favorites are sleeping, Facebook creeping, Twatching (tweet-watching), and watching re-runs of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”
    I should also mention that homework is an option if you are feeling overly ambitious, but ambition is not a common symptom of the flu, so I feel this may fall short of your priority list.
    Of course, you should mind the timeless rules of beating the flu, such as resting, drinking lots of liquids and taking vitamin C and medicine.
    You will get better much faster if you refrain from going to class or work, although I know that will be a tough task for most of you.
    I highly suggest one more thing: Although your ambition will be low, take what little you have and apply it toward showering.
    Overall, with a little rest and a lot of fluids, you should be back to normal in just a short time.
    And as an added bonus, you will be completely up-to-date on everyone’s personal lives via Twitter. Stay well UCM.

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    Get yourself un-sick quick