AGAINST: Pineapple on Pizza

Written by Anna Furney, Reporter

Pineapple on Pizza?

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  Hawaiian pizza is the worst invention mankind has ever made. Who in their right mind would think to put pineapple slices on pizza? Sweet fruit does not even relatively mesh well with the flavor of tomato sauce and cheese. Sweet might mix with salty, like salted caramel, but sweet does not aesthetically mix well with the herbs and spices on pizza. The more people talk about Hawaiian pizza, the more convinced I am that nobody actually likes it. 

Hawaiian pizza is a variety of pineapple, red bell peppers and Canadian bacon. Some people like this type of pizza while others do not. (Photo by Adam Sullens)

  My theory is that everybody knows pineapple on pizza is disgusting, but it’s become some sort of massive inside joke where a large group of people pretend to like it just for the shock factor. Why else do people who “support” it always shake their heads and laugh when someone brings up the debate? The evidence is overwhelming in proving this theory 一 there’s a reason why Hawaiian pizza was the still well-stocked when people were grocery hoarding during the pandemic. 

  To sum it up, if someone actually likes pineapple on pizza, and isn’t faking it, there’s a problem with their taste buds. There is no way anybody’s taste buds would agree with that. 

Updated March 10, 2021. 11:50