Ask Adalyn: friendship troubles

Written by Muleskinner Staff

Adalyn,

I just recently had a blowout with a friend. How do I feel better afterwards? I’m crushed but can’t show it and I don’t think we’re going to stay friends in the long run…

I can definitely relate to you on that. I’ve been through this situation numerous times and even recently dealt with it. My best advice to you is cheesy, but relevant: Everything happens for a reason.

If you were fighting or you didn’t like something they did, you have a right to speak up and voice your opinion. If they weren’t being a good influence on you and you needed to leave the friendship, it’s possibly a great thing for your mental and emotional health.

I hate fallouts with friends, but each one has made me into a better woman because I can finally get to know myself after getting out of toxic friendships.

I’ve had an awful roommate before who I thought was my best friend in the entire world (now we don’t even see each other because our lives are so different) and recently had a group of my so-called best friends leave me, but it has turned out alright in the end. Friendships really depend on maturity levels and whether or not you feel there’s something to gain or learn from the relationship.

I’ve learned my weaknesses and areas to improve on because of all the petty drama I’ve gone through, and hopefully you find closure over what happened as well. If you’re crushed now, that is perfectly understandable. Just look at the long run and visualize what you want/need to be successful.

All the people whom I’ve decided not to stay friends with didn’t benefit me in any way, shape or form, except to lead me to be a rude person and that’s not who I want to be.

Your emotions right now are really high, but I can guarantee if you were meant to stay friends forever, they’ll come to you and you’ll apologize and make up. If you aren’t meant to be friends, mutually deciding to be apart is OK.

College is for growing and developing healthy relationships. If this one ended, it ended for a reason and it’s OK to put yourself first every once in a while. Take time to heal. Don’t be so hard on yourself; there are PLENTY of people on campus and you’ll make even better friends in due time, I promise. Keep your head up!

Truly,

Adalyn

DISCLAIMER: This advice column is written by an anonymous Muleskinner contributor. Her advice does not reflect the opinions of the Muleskinner’s editorial staff. The contributor is not a trained professional in counseling. Therefore, we advise people to reach out to the proper resources when needed. Any serious concerns will not be taken lightly and will be brought to the attention of the Counseling Center in Humphreys Building 131 or Public Safety at 543-4123.